I Love My Church Week 1
I Love My Church: What It Really Means to Love the Church God Intended
There are certain places in life we visit out of obligation rather than desire. The DMV. The doctor's office. The grocery store. These are the destinations we dread, the ones that fill us with a kind of low-grade anxiety before we even walk through the door. We go because we have to, not because we want to.
For far too many people, church falls into that same category.
That is a sobering reality worth sitting with for a moment. For countless people outside the walls of any given congregation, the thought of attending church produces the same feelings as waiting in line at the DMV. Dread. Anxiety. A sense of obligation without reward. And if we are being honest, some of those people have arrived at that conclusion because of real and painful experiences. They would not be entirely wrong to feel the way they do.
But here is the deeper question that demands our attention: Is that what God intended when He established His church? Was His design for this community of believers to be just another place people feel they have to go?
The answer, rooted firmly in Scripture, is an unequivocal no.
A New Commandment, Not a Suggestion
In John 13:34-35, Jesus speaks directly to this. He gives His disciples what He calls a new commandment, telling them to love one another just as He has loved them. He then adds something remarkable: He says that by this love, all people will know that they belong to Him. Not by their theology alone. Not by their church attendance. Not by their moral record. By their love for one another.
Notice that Jesus does not frame this as an option. He calls it a commandment. For followers of Jesus Christ, loving one another is not elective. It is not a personality preference or a spiritual gift reserved for the naturally warm and friendly. It is a direct instruction from the Lord of the church Himself.
But what does that love actually look like in practice? That question deserves a careful and honest answer, because not all love is the same.
Two Very Different Kinds of Love
Consider the difference between loving a great restaurant and loving a child.
When you discover a restaurant with exceptional food and outstanding service, you love the experience. You go back. You tell your friends. You leave a glowing review. But if the food declines or the service disappoints, your love fades quickly. You find somewhere else. That kind of love is entirely conditional, entirely self-directed. It asks one central question: What is this place doing for me?
Now consider the love a parent has for a child. From the very first moment of holding that newborn, something profound and permanent takes root. That love is not based on performance or experience. It does not evaporate when the child makes poor decisions or when the relationship becomes difficult. It is rooted in relationship, in connection, in a bond that transcends circumstances. It is a love that endures.
The difference between these two kinds of love is the difference between how many people approach church and how God intended the church to be loved.
The Church Was Never Meant to Be a Restaurant
When we approach the church the way we approach a restaurant, everything becomes about personal satisfaction. Do I like the music? Does the preaching hold my attention? Are the people friendly enough? Does this place meet my expectations? When the answer to those questions trends negative, we quietly slip away and look for somewhere that suits us better, or we stop going altogether.
This is not a fringe phenomenon. It is widespread. And it produces a kind of shallow, fragile connection to the body of Christ that collapses under the slightest pressure.
The church was never designed to function that way. In Ephesians 5, the apostle Paul uses the relationship between a husband and wife to illuminate something profound about Christ and the church. He describes Christ as the head of the church, His body, and points to the way Christ loved the church by giving Himself up for her. That is the standard. Christ's love for the church is sacrificial, committed, and unconditional. He did not love the church based on what He was receiving from it. He loved it by pouring Himself out for it.
If that is the model, then our relationship with the church cannot be primarily about what we are getting out of it. It must be about what we are bringing to it.
Intentional Love Changes Everything
Here is a truth worth anchoring in your heart: you will develop a deep love for the church when you intentionally love the church. The opposite is equally true. If you never actively and deliberately practice love toward the people in your congregation, you will never experience a genuine, lasting love for the church.
Love, in the biblical sense, is not primarily a feeling that washes over you. It is a choice, a practice, a commitment. Jesus demonstrated that on the cross. His death was an intentional act of love, not a spontaneous emotional response. And when He calls us to love one another, He is calling us to that same kind of deliberate, purposeful engagement with the people He has placed around us.
This means showing up. It means standing alongside people when life is hard. It means serving others with the gifts and abilities God has placed within you. It means giving generously, not out of guilt, but as a natural expression of love. And it means carrying the love of God beyond the walls of any building and into the community around you.
The Church God Intended
The church was designed to be a community of people so marked by genuine love for one another that the watching world would take notice. That was Jesus' vision. That is still God's intention.
When the church lives up to that calling, it is not a place people dread. It is a place people are drawn to, a community where the love of God becomes visible and tangible in human relationships.
The question worth asking yourself today is simple: Are you loving the church, or are you simply attending it?
There are certain places in life we visit out of obligation rather than desire. The DMV. The doctor's office. The grocery store. These are the destinations we dread, the ones that fill us with a kind of low-grade anxiety before we even walk through the door. We go because we have to, not because we want to.
For far too many people, church falls into that same category.
That is a sobering reality worth sitting with for a moment. For countless people outside the walls of any given congregation, the thought of attending church produces the same feelings as waiting in line at the DMV. Dread. Anxiety. A sense of obligation without reward. And if we are being honest, some of those people have arrived at that conclusion because of real and painful experiences. They would not be entirely wrong to feel the way they do.
But here is the deeper question that demands our attention: Is that what God intended when He established His church? Was His design for this community of believers to be just another place people feel they have to go?
The answer, rooted firmly in Scripture, is an unequivocal no.
A New Commandment, Not a Suggestion
In John 13:34-35, Jesus speaks directly to this. He gives His disciples what He calls a new commandment, telling them to love one another just as He has loved them. He then adds something remarkable: He says that by this love, all people will know that they belong to Him. Not by their theology alone. Not by their church attendance. Not by their moral record. By their love for one another.
Notice that Jesus does not frame this as an option. He calls it a commandment. For followers of Jesus Christ, loving one another is not elective. It is not a personality preference or a spiritual gift reserved for the naturally warm and friendly. It is a direct instruction from the Lord of the church Himself.
But what does that love actually look like in practice? That question deserves a careful and honest answer, because not all love is the same.
Two Very Different Kinds of Love
Consider the difference between loving a great restaurant and loving a child.
When you discover a restaurant with exceptional food and outstanding service, you love the experience. You go back. You tell your friends. You leave a glowing review. But if the food declines or the service disappoints, your love fades quickly. You find somewhere else. That kind of love is entirely conditional, entirely self-directed. It asks one central question: What is this place doing for me?
Now consider the love a parent has for a child. From the very first moment of holding that newborn, something profound and permanent takes root. That love is not based on performance or experience. It does not evaporate when the child makes poor decisions or when the relationship becomes difficult. It is rooted in relationship, in connection, in a bond that transcends circumstances. It is a love that endures.
The difference between these two kinds of love is the difference between how many people approach church and how God intended the church to be loved.
The Church Was Never Meant to Be a Restaurant
When we approach the church the way we approach a restaurant, everything becomes about personal satisfaction. Do I like the music? Does the preaching hold my attention? Are the people friendly enough? Does this place meet my expectations? When the answer to those questions trends negative, we quietly slip away and look for somewhere that suits us better, or we stop going altogether.
This is not a fringe phenomenon. It is widespread. And it produces a kind of shallow, fragile connection to the body of Christ that collapses under the slightest pressure.
The church was never designed to function that way. In Ephesians 5, the apostle Paul uses the relationship between a husband and wife to illuminate something profound about Christ and the church. He describes Christ as the head of the church, His body, and points to the way Christ loved the church by giving Himself up for her. That is the standard. Christ's love for the church is sacrificial, committed, and unconditional. He did not love the church based on what He was receiving from it. He loved it by pouring Himself out for it.
If that is the model, then our relationship with the church cannot be primarily about what we are getting out of it. It must be about what we are bringing to it.
Intentional Love Changes Everything
Here is a truth worth anchoring in your heart: you will develop a deep love for the church when you intentionally love the church. The opposite is equally true. If you never actively and deliberately practice love toward the people in your congregation, you will never experience a genuine, lasting love for the church.
Love, in the biblical sense, is not primarily a feeling that washes over you. It is a choice, a practice, a commitment. Jesus demonstrated that on the cross. His death was an intentional act of love, not a spontaneous emotional response. And when He calls us to love one another, He is calling us to that same kind of deliberate, purposeful engagement with the people He has placed around us.
This means showing up. It means standing alongside people when life is hard. It means serving others with the gifts and abilities God has placed within you. It means giving generously, not out of guilt, but as a natural expression of love. And it means carrying the love of God beyond the walls of any building and into the community around you.
The Church God Intended
The church was designed to be a community of people so marked by genuine love for one another that the watching world would take notice. That was Jesus' vision. That is still God's intention.
When the church lives up to that calling, it is not a place people dread. It is a place people are drawn to, a community where the love of God becomes visible and tangible in human relationships.
The question worth asking yourself today is simple: Are you loving the church, or are you simply attending it?
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